I recently returned from a stellar weekend to everyone’s favorite hipster city, NYC. It was an awesome time. I stayed in Brooklyn for the first time and got to experience some normal Brooklyn things instead of doing the extreme tourist itinerary on the other side of the bridge. Seems to me that life on the two sides is so different, yet so very similar. But I live in North Carolina, which some New Yorkers consider to be country-bumpkin-ville, so what do I know?
Anywho. It astounds me the amount of traffic there is in NYC. Not just Manhattan, but everywhere. Cars, cabs, buses, trucks, bikes. Not to mention the people traffic. Not only are big motor vehicle intersections backed up, but the people-traffic is horrendous as well. I guess when you have millions of people living in like 2 square miles or whatever it is, that’s what happens.
Also I learned that subway drivers are mean and ruthless people who need a hug and some sweet tea, and have a bruise to prove it. Nothing screams “I don’t live here” like getting slammed between closing subway doors. Good times.
But back to the traffic. It’s funny that every person I currently know, have known, heard of, or even seen on TV that lives in NYC in any borough, any neighborhood, don’t actually own a motor vehicle. So my question is, WHO are all these people on the road, and WHY are they driving? Obviously most are cabs, which makes sense since there are tons of people who don’t drive or have cars. But seriously. Did the rest of them just not get the message about the bad traffic?
I know I could never move up there and give away my precious Rose. Or lend her to my mother. I love driving and I love specifically driving my car. I just love her. See previous love note to little Rose to prove my point. Thusly why I could never bring her to NYC. Numerous times whilst traveling/crawling the streets of a cab I thought we might lose our lives and/or get hit by another insane vehicle. And you guys. I’m an aggressive driver. But apparently defining aggressive driver in NYC is different from any other place in these united states. Like, I think “aggressive” in NC means you drive 7 over the speed limit versus 4. But I already stood on that soap box.
Once, while on the way back to Brooklyn in the rain, our cabbie got rear-ended in bumper to bumper traffic. It wasn’t a major hit, but it wasn’t a light tap either. I sort of gasped and was startled by being hit and jostled a bit in the back seat. I’m no pansy but I mean, you know. So our cabbie grumbles quietly and calmly, puts the car in park, gets out of the cab and gestures to the car behind us. I miss the gesture because of my limited view out of the window. But I think we can all guess. Then he got back in the cab and grumbled about his car being a piece of junk. Something about how “they make dees things outta tin cans dees days!”
Rest assured if anyone bumped me in traffic, we’d be on the side of the road having a come to Jesus. Tin cans or not.
Also, has anyone looked through the Urban Outfitters catalog recently? I think they just take some cameras to Brooklyn and Queens and take pictures of the hipsters in their natural habitats. I look through the pages of that thing and think…ok maybe this pair of shoes I could wear to work but NOT with high waist parachute pants, a crop top that says “kissing is fun,” and feathered fedora. Also I would probably brush my hair. Right? It’s like going to Richmond – VCU’s Richmond – on the weekends. Or certain neighborhoods in San Francisco. Or this one art gallery in Raleigh where all the hipsters hang. In Brooklyn it’s like they sent out a casting call for all hipsters anywhere looking for other hipsters to listen to weird music and eat organic corn meal together or something. And they all responded with zest and took over the entire borough and then some.
Totally no offense to hipsters, if you’re a hipster and you’re reading this. As I say, we’re all God’s children. This is Amurica and you can dress and do however and whatever you want. High five. I just sort of wish that “hipsters” would stop thinking they’re so original and unique and different. Because there’s kind of a lot of you, and sometimes it’s kind of scary.
Plus, just because I don’t wear a shirt that proclaims how I feel about kissing, doesn’t mean I don’t have a strong opinion on the subject.
On a serious note, I had a blast in Brooklyn, doing the local thing like I live there. Taking trains everywhere, wearing a cross-body bag, and flowery, sort of vintage/thrift looking dress (from Target obviousy, because I live in the suburbs where we buy everything at Target or similar big box store. If only there was a cool, hip word associated with being a suburbanite). Only thing that gave me away is my Rainbow flip flops. And the fact that my bag wasn’t made from hemp or some other kind of organic material that smells weird. It’s leather. Or faux leather…not sure which one is more offensive.
On a more personal note, and to reiterate the fact that I indeed had a bangin time: it was an awesome reunion with my former fellow worker bee, Queenie (who lives in Brooklyn…maybe a name change is in order) and my favorite fellow blogger Mr. Smarty Pants and his gf and my fellow shoe loving friend Miss Fancy Boots (that was a crazy run-on sentence! I don’t feel like fixing it). For the record, I am the inventor of her smoking awesome nickname.
Also for the record, the two of them have a super awesome apartment, all decorated grown-up like with no posters or plastic folding chairs. Continuing with the record, staying with Queenie and seeing everyone’s awesomely hip apartments makes me yearn even more for my own space.
Soon, grasshopper. Soon.