Tag Archives: Shoes

Left my parka in Virginia. Which is bad since it’s FREEZING COLD here.

Oh, the land of fruits and nuts. The People’s Republic of California. It is a large state, and spans pretty much the entirety of the west coast from north to south, which you’d know unless you skipped all of elementary school. I said pretty much. So apparently when people talk about “sunny California” they actually only mean LA and/or San Diego, since San Francisco at this time of year is really more like the fictional vampire-ridden town of Forks, only with high-rises and turrible traffic.

In fact, and apparently everyone knew this except for me, it is freezing cold and foggy in San Francisco pretty much all the time. If I had a dime for every time someone told me the little anecdote about Mark Twain saying, “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco,” I’d be able to reimburse myself for my plane ticket out here, my Hertz rental car, and the security deposit on my new fancy schmancy apartment. Seriously. And it hasn’t even been 2 weeks. Luckily for me, I had the foresight to look up regional weather patterns prior to making the trek out here so I had a couple (couple = 2) cardigans and a cute spring jacket with 3/4 length sleeves with me! Which of course all turned out to be NOT ENOUGH coverage even when worn all at the same time.

But enough complaining, because honestly I don’t even live in true San Francisco so the frigid summer temperatures don’t affect me all that much. But still. Picture my surprise/goosebumps when Roomz and I first hit fresh air off the airplane only to discover that we were both mistakenly dressed for Hawaii. Brnt. Shivering on my part began .5 seconds later. Luckily as I said, we ended up choosing to live in the east-most area that is still considered East Bay, and thanks to a little baby mountain range we are protected from the bizarre fog that literally rolls in with zero notice and takes the temps down 20 degrees in .5 seconds. It’s nice, but also sort of weird since when we leave for work in the morning, it’s hovering around 50. By lunch, I’m still needing a cardigan, but when we leave for the day in the evening, it’s hovering around 90. Weird! Hard to complain since typically I’d be drenched in sweat walking to my car in the gloriously hot and humid Richmond summers. I miss them, but not that much.

I’m adjusting well though, since the other great thing about this cute little town we picked is that it has a famous shopping district! [Poppa Pants, no need to read further.] That’s right folks, the downtown area, complete with wine bars, 20 Chinese and Thai restaurants, a couple diners, and the best mall in the world is just a short trolley ride away! Imagine my joy when I discovered that not only do we live SO close to this mecca, but I can ride a trolley to get there. Ok fine it’s just a bus that looks like a trolley, but whatevs. And BONUS, the trolley is free. You know, Miss Sassy always pinching pennies where she can. So to combat not having appropriate clothing, I of course have hit up sales looking to Californiarize my work wardrobe. It has worked gloriously thus far (on a budget, obvs) and I am thoroughly pleased. Also I never understood boots in the summer (what is the point of a “summer bootie” when I want to wear as little as possible…) and was clearly full of judgement for ladies wearing suede boots in August, but since all weather in the summer is not 100+ degrees with 100 billion percent humidity, I get it now! And will soon be adding these to my collection (I know, they’re so cute right!). Stoked. Little East Coast girl, learning some fashion/life lessons. How quaint.

And look at me keeping to my posting schedule. Happy Monday, ya’ll!

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Holy Liberals, Batman! It’s California!

Ohmahgah! So I know it’s been a gagillion years since there’s been fresh juice from this orange, but a quick glance at my reader odometer tells me readership is not down that much. Thanks ya’ll. So what the heck has been happening? Tons and lots and mucho. Once again my social calendar is jam packed to the brim, men all up on my cell phone, ladies all jealous of my fab new haircut and shoe collection. And again just joking. Quick run-down: I moved out of my fab ex-roommates’ house (miss you girls) in Raleigh and came back to live at Casa di Momma Sassy and Poppa Pants for 4 weeks whilst enduring the torture that is 3 weeks of IT training put upon me by my gainful employer. I saw everyone possible, had a fun girls weekend, planned an awesome reunion trip to DC that I unfortunately had to bail on because hey! I moved to California!

There are so many stories I could tell/will tell eventually I’m sure, but for now I want to reflect on things that I have noticed initially that are SO different here on the left coast. Things that I have tabulated in my head over the last 7 days include but are not limited to the following items. There is no sweet tea here. Just “iced tea.” There are LOTS of Prius’s. Like LOTS. And people who drive them are more annoying than usual, with stickers on the back bragging that they passed some emissions test that every vehicle has to pass anyway in this state. Big freaking deal, you’re compliant with the law. There is no good college football, and no one really cares that there isn’t any good college football except for me apparently. I miss Chick-fil-a and Bojangles breakfast buiscuits and potatoes. Children are just as annoying here as they are anywhere else. Weed is about to be legalized here for realz, despite the fact that everyone knows it would get the hold-up from the Feds. I say it’s a good idea because then maybe California wouldn’t be about to declare bankruptcy every day. No one knows how to merge here, so that is something that reminds me of pretty much any place in the world I’ve been where merging is necessary. They love their organic yogurt here. Like in a weird obsessive way. They love organic anything here. The public transportation rocks. No one says “ya’ll” but me. Shampoo costs $20 instead of $6. Gas costs $90/gallon instead of just $2.50. Apartment hunting is just as difficult here as anywhere, but more expensive. A/C is not standard anywhere. Everyone has those weird looking shoe/sandal hybrids that I think are Fugly. The fog over San Francisco is gorgeous. It is not warm here like I thought it would be. And lastly, anyone who doesn’t have a Prius has a Mini just like me. It’s cool but also makes me feel unoriginal, BUT I bet they’ll all give me the peace sign back when I wave UNLIKE everyone in VA/NC who I waved to in a Mini. Jerks.

So that’s my quickie update! I have dubbed my new roomz Big D for lack of a creative genius moment/I’m tired of using Roomz and it’s confusing for all my previous roommates. He’s a nice guy and apparently likes to cook, which I see benefiting me in the future since we all know I enjoy bowls of cereal in liu of real meals on the reg. He doesn’t want to be talked about on this here jank so I will try to respect his wishes, but he must know (if he is reading) that if he keeps requesting to not be mentioned that the chances of me mentioning him increase. Anywho, we are getting along fine and both getting tired of being confused for a married couple. Buying mattresses together gives people that impression apparently, even when you are buying 2 queens instead of just one.

If anyone is coming to visit please do leave a note and we’ll plan some fun times! Alternatively, if you have any recommendations on places I should visit while I am here let me know! I have about 20 weekends until I move away, and I can’t wait to fill them all.

PS! New functions thanks to WordPress/whoever designed my theme! Rate enties, “Like” entries, subscribe to MSP! Subscribers get extra benefits, like being notified ASAP when I post something, and possibly future giveaways. I just came up with that but seriously it could happen. So DO IT.

Random Compilation of Trifeness

We now break from our regularly scheduled program of discussing men 24/7 so I can complain about bad driving and scooters on the road, and perhaps a couple other things. You never know what will come up.

Here in good old Raleigh, scooters are becoming all the rage, and not just in the metropolitan area. People out in the ‘burbs are also being responsible citizens of Earth and lowering their carbon footprint by purchasing and making scooters their number one choice for transporting themselves to and fro. It is so wonderful. I love environmental responsibility and lowering one’s carbon footprint. Woohoo. I have a low emission/fuel efficient vehicle so high five to me, also. Here’s the difference: mine goes regular speeds (and vrooms and purrs quite nicely. Thanks BMW.) and yours does not, seeming to max out at 30mph. The problem with this is that somehow, Mr. Scooter thinks it is appropriate for him (or her) to ride right in the middle of the lane, leaving a long row of crawling real vehicles following irritatingly behind. 30mph would not be a problem except that greater than 90% of roads in suburban areas have speed limits greater than 30mph, and I am very impatient and like to maximize travel efficiency, not to mention drive my car like it’s meant to be driven. I have made up my mind that next time this happens, I will, without reservation or guilt, honk my horn until he or she moves over. And if that person is upset with me, I’ll wave and smile as I drive by. Don’t drop your groceries, cupcake!

Remember in college (so long ago…) when everyone was hungover and unshowered on Saturday and/or Sunday mornings (at a minimum)? For the ladies, it was hair up, hat on, maybe a headband or bag over your head, huge tshirt and sweatpants, flip-flops or Ugg boots. For dudes it was disheveled probably greasy hair, hat, grungy tshirt from the previous night, sweatpants and those moccasin fuzzy slipper things that are super comfy. For both, it included a face depleted of all color while we slowly recover from the ridiculousness that occurred the previous evening/earlier that morning. And being seen in public like this wasn’t really a big deal because everyone else looked just as trife as you. In fact, typically if you are showered and made up prior to mid-afternoon, you are very out of place.

Last Sunday, I was reminded that things aren’t like that in the real world of real people and no college. We went to a little eatery to get some yummy lamb pitas to-go. Upon entering said eatery, I found myself wishing they delivered. Since it was close to 1pm, people were there enjoying a nice Sunday lunch. Families, a group of girlfriends, couple of old elderly couples, etc. We walk in, clad in workout shorts and tshirts, me with a headband covering as much hair as possible, Roomz clutching a bottle of Gatorade, all of us probably pale and ghastly looking. MAJOR judgement faces from the cute showered group of girls in the corner. I mean just oozing. I was THIS close to walking up to their table and saying, “So what, you’ve never been hungover before?” and maybe taking one of their french fries and walking away with a flick of my pony tail. In my head it was funny, but in real life I remained sitting down with the closest air vent blowing on my face.

It has once again been reinforced that IT is the greatest career choice in the entire world. Sarcasm alert. Last night, I had the honor and privilege of coming in to work at 2am to mess around with some servers. Too much IT speak to explain it so I won’t. All you need to know is that some work cannot be done during regular business hours, and there’s no IT fairy who magically fixes things at night. Real people stay up until 2am on a Tuesday (and not at TOTS), come to the office (which turns the a/c off at night because we are a green building…woohoo) and do work. Until 3:45am. And then come back for an 8am meeting. At least this time no one walked up to my cube this morning and said, “Gosh, Miss Sassy, you’re looking rough today!” Men in IT have such tact and know all the right things to say to really make me feel great about myself. Warm fuzzies all around!

Since this is a crazy random post (hence the title), I’ll go ahead and share this gem: I LOVE these. Like, I keep the page open all day every day and will be stalking them until they go on sale and/or I get another coupon from DSW. Trust.

Big Hat, No Cattle.

Who doesn’t love this phrase I have learned recently?! Big hat, no cattle. It’s gloriously southern, to the point, charming, and seems to me can be used in a wide variety of contexts. I am pretty much in love with this phrase and will probably add it to the list of words that I apparently overuse on the regs. It is especially versatile and I’m really quite excited to put it in practice as often as possible. Since I had to get an explanation, I’ll assume I’m not the only one who’s unsure what it means – especially since I know some of you readers are yanks, I know ya’ll need some extra guidance. Miss Sassy is here to learn you once again, don’t worry.

My favorite and probably the most excellent example of how this phrase can be used is when referencing a big talkin man. You know, the kind with big egos who yack at the mouth about all their crazy skillz with women. Miss Sassy of course knows nothing about any sort of anything about these supposed and rumored skills, however she does have a fantastic BS meter! And this weekend, it was tested and proved to be in good working order.

Friday night, Roomz and I found ourselves with some friends at this cool place in downtown Ralz called Hibernian. It’s the perfect place for seeing, being seen, meeting and mingling. There’s at least 4 different bars, plenty of seating, a cute little outdoor patio perfect for people watching, and the music isn’t too loud. Nothing worse than zero conversation because I can’t even hear myself think. Anywho, so Roomz and I are on our last drink, closing out tabs, beginning to think better of the shots we just took, when Roomz spots a real live cowboy across the bar. She’s from Pennsylvania and has never seen a man in a cowboy hat and boots (and tight jeans and a big belt buckle if you must know) so she wants a picture. I don’t have my camera but we don’t discover that until we’ve already drawn him into conversation. So we’re chatting and then mid-convo, he leans over to me and asks for my number. Oy. Roomz excuses herself thinking she’s doing me a favor, meanwhile in my head I’m screaming please don’t leave me with this tool! Too late. I hesitate, thinking that I’m about to say my usual: no thanks, I don’t give out my number, sorry. But then I say “I’m moving in 3 weeks, does that change your mind?” (cute right!) He says he doesn’t care and I shrug and hear myself say “um, sure.” I know, so enthusiastic. He’s excited, it’s kind of cute. I’m still trying to decide if he’s actually good looking or if it’s just the hat that drew me in. We chat for a couple minutes about standard things. Where do you work? What do you do? Where are you from? I ask a bit more unconventional questions like, “Are you really a cowboy?” and “Why are you wearing that hat here?” dripping with my usual sarcasm. He thinks I’m joking, which is also cute because I’m so not. Then he asks me what my first impression of him was. This kind of question always makes me laugh, because really, it’s like asking “So, you think I’m hot right? I know.” And ya’ll know, I’m not a batting eyelashes while nodding and giggling kind of girl. I will say what I think, especially if I’m on the backside of 5ish drinks. So I gave him a once-over and told him he was wearing that big hat and buckle for a reason, and that his boots were awful fancy (I think they were snake skin. Yuck). He chuckles and asks me what I mean by that. I politely explain that no man in Raleigh, North Carolina wears those big 10 gallon cowboy hats so he must be trying to get noticed with all his Texas finery. He of course denies it and says that he’s been wearing that hat since he was 5 years old. Again, I repeat, this is Raleigh, not a party on your daddy’s ranch. It is at this point that I devise my exit strategy. My future husband is not hiding underneath that hat, and I don’t do snake skin. Next in line please.

Why is it that most men will deny that they are trying to get noticed? I have no problem admitting that when I get dolled up to go out, I am wearing shorts with 4 inch zebra heels to get noticed. I do not wear them for my health or because they help tone my gluts and hamstrings. If I wasn’t trying to get noticed I’d probably wear baggy jeans and a t-shirt. Or I’d stay at home and watch Gilmore Girls instead. Simple. And really, it’s not so bad to just admit it. Why lie? Why try to be all, “Oh I’m just here to hang out with friends and have a few beers.” It’s cute really, but we all know why we are all there. If you only wanted a few beers with friends, you could hit up the Piggly Wiggly and get yourself a case and catch up with friends on your couch. I feel like it’s just human nature. We spend time making ourselves look as not trife as possible and go out to be social because we are social creatures. And there is nothing wrong with admitting that you are proud of your tush and so yeah, you bought those tight jeans specifically to go out in because you heard chicks dig them (fact). And yes, you bought that shirt because it fits better, shows off your pecs and biceps that you work so hard on. Seriously, it’s ok. And yes, we notice. But please, don’t try to be all innocent like it’s an accident that you look so good (or flashy, which does not necessarily equal good). You consciously decided to wear that big buckle, put on your best boots, and wear that hat (indoors even. Rude.) because you know it’ll set you apart from other tight-jean’d dudes. And surprise! It worked, we noticed you. But, surprise! You had nothing behind the hat to back it up except for a feeble and disrespectful attempt to get me to go home with you. Ergo: big hat, no cattle.

Miss Sassy’s Shoe Selection #..who knows

So it appears that I sort of abandoned this shoe love part of my blog, but have no fear! It’s back. I know all the boys were upset and wanting to see which pair of shoes I would purchase and chat up next so now you can put your minds at ease, because I have some goodies for you today.

Remember back in the day when I was touting the awesomeness of endless.com and their amazing FREE overnight shipping deal? Well I still think endless is the best place to find some sassy style for your tootsies, however this time, I failed to find something there which was reasonably priced to justify the awesomeness of the free overnight shipping fun. Enter my 2nd place shoe selling lover, DSW. Anyone who has not been to a DSW is seriously deranged (other than Poppa Pants, he’s a special case). Anywhooosies, last week I ventured with Roomz to DSW for a little post-stressful-workday shoe shopping, having identified a few looks that I was lacking for the spring and summer seasons. Also according to my trainer, my gym shoes “suck ass” so I was also aiming to remedy this catastrophe.

The store nearest my home was somewhat lacking in what I was looking for as far as spring and summer fun-ness, however I did score a pair of fab looking New Balance gym shoes in yellow for 50% off. I am nothing if not a bargain hunter people.  As for the spring and summer fun-ness, http://www.dsw.com did not let me down AND afforded me the benefit of applying two discounts: 15% off and free shipping. Woowoo! Who doesn’t love entering those awesome discount codes at checkout? I always love how they come up with the weirdest letter combinations. They should take a lesson from Victoria’s Secret who has the greatest discount codes with things like BRA15 and FREEPANTY.  Raise your hand if you love typing FREEPANTY. [Side note: I feel they should always give lady undies away for free, it’s got to cost like 15 cents to make that ish anyway…charging $20 is just not right for .01 yards of fabric. For realz.] Digression. On to the goods!

I now present you with my victories: Naughty Monkey Parade Platform in black (I got the last pair on sale from DSW so it’s no longer available for viewing from there). And Seychelles Hulabaloo Wedge aka in yellow. I am now anxiously awaiting my lovers’ arrival at my door so that I may grace my feet with their presence. The New Balance were super discounted and therefore not pictured. Catch me at my local Gold’s Gym with my fresh non-white sneaks.

BONUS! A couple months ago I caved to the spring trend and purchased a pair of adorable spring boots in tan. If I have not previously mentioned it, this is by far my favorite look for spring. Pair them with a flowery sundress (or every sundress you own like I have done) and don’t resist buying a cowboy hat from the random street vendor to go with the look. They are versatile, hide my at times un-pedicured tootsies, and also keep my feet warm in the office. Sandals add mucho cuteness to boring work outfits but you know I be wishing I had me some slippers whilst sitting in an ice box of an office. Trust.

Is there a lesson from this shoe selection? Of course! To your own style be true, but do not be trife. Wearing these to the office is not acceptable (and in my view not acceptable any time since they’re pretty darn ugly) but rocking some cute wedges with those boring dry-clean-only dress pants is perfectly acceptable.  And whatever you do, please do not hobble and trip your way around the office in your new kicks. Heels are sassy and sexy (and work-place appropriate!) but only if you can walk in them like a lady. Miss Sassy recommends practicing at home before venturing outside to flaunt your fabulousness.

Miss Sassy’s Shoe Salon: #2

Hello dears. It’s been quite a while since Miss Sassy has shared some fab shoe finds with you so in the interest of catching up, I’ll share a whole store that I found: Endless.com.  This is the most amazing site I have ever found. Ever.  Not only do they truly have endless shoes to choose from (I mean really there’s like a billion shoes in each category for realz), they sell super small sizes for people like Momma Sassy who have tiny little footsies, they provide free OVERNIGHT shipping, AND free returns! Holy Moses!  [Side note: you must use Internet Explorer to view this site, it is funky with other browsers] Everyone knows that the worst part of buying online is a) shipping costs, b) waiting 9 years for your item to be shipped, and c) paying to ship it back if that jank don’t fit!  Problem solved my friends.

Today my fabulous place of employment is not occupying my time completely aka people don’t know how to reply to emails, and thus I am working on my Christmas wish list for good ol’ Santa.  This year it includes a fab new pair of boots (or possibly two depending on how good I’ve been).  I’ve provided some examples of greatness for your viewing pleasure, and also if you are in a giving mood and decide to purchase any for little me, please leave a comment indicating so.

I love all of these so much I just might get them all and see which fit the best. Free returns people, so why the heck not! Hit me back – what did you find? Check Miss Sassy’s Salon later to see what I picked!

Miss Sassy’s Shoe Salon: #1

Say that 5 times really fast! So here at my place of gainful employment, I can proudly say that I have the sassiest shoes on this entire floor. Keep in mind, ladies and gents, that this complex has four different buildings, all of which have 5 or more floors of employees.  So by no means is this a feat of fashion.  But man when I’m walking to refill my water bottle in the kitchen, I sure feel good about my fashionable feet! Anywho, I think since I have a healthy passion and love for le scarpe, I would share some disparaging and elating shoe-buying experiences every now and then!

Sassy Shoe Selection number 1 (well really, Lord knows which number it is – have you seen my closet lately, but it’s the one I’m starting with, so it’s number 1) is a fantastic purchase from one of my favorite haunts: Bakers. I was doing the shop-therapy thing after an argument in le tele with one of my dear old man-friends.  Note: some of the best purchases are made while partaking in shop-therapy. Don’t knock it just because it’s tied to your emotions.  So I pass by the enticing window display of Bakers, and slow my pace as I always do.  I’m drawn in by a ridiculous pair of fancy shoes that I would have no occasion to wear, and happen to glance at the sale table in the corner while I’m at it.  Lo and behold there are the most beautiful purple pumps I’ve ever laid eyes on.  And as is usually the case, the display pair is my size (thank you Lord, I do love this about myself), and I slip them on.  Big mistake.  Or best moment ever, depending on how you look at it, since I promptly brought them to the cashier girl, explained to her probably too much detail about my sad man issues, and happily exit the store with this beautiful pair of shoes – man problems completely forgotten.  Yes ladies, it does work.  And no I do not care that the cashier girl probably thought I was nuts.

Bottom line: Bakers has never let me down! I rarely purchase shoes from them since historically they are a bit pricey or just not what I need.  However, if you are looking for good boots, fun flats, trendy gladiator sandles (if you’re into that…Miss Sassy feels these are weird looking and/or is bitter they make her look shorter), fancy DT (downtown) wear, pretty pumps, or wedding couture, Bakers has it! And they have a fab website.  Find the store nearest you!  And don’t forget, shoes do make or break the outfit.  Make sure you’re sending the right signals with your footwear…and obviously, keep it sassy.