On September 7th, 2004, Simon Spotlight Entertainment published a book called “He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys,” authored by two former story line editors of the favored HBO show Sex and the City, Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. The unique thing about this book is that it is mainly authored by a man. A man who used to be a single guy, out on the prowl for his perfect woman, and who eventually found, pursued, wooed, and married her. This wonderful book came into my life about 6 months later and changed my perspective forever. Never had I read something straight from the horses mouth, if you will, that cut out all the bull and gave the most blatant truth about guys. Not just real men, but all males in general, including high school boys, college dudes, and the real man’s man. It applied to me then, it applies to me now, and it will continue to apply to my life basically until I die.
And so to this day, nearly 6 years later, I am still slightly irritated and bewildered when I hear things like this: “It’s not that he’s not into me, he’s just SO busy with his job right now, so we really don’t have a lot of time for each other. But it’ll calm down once this project is over and we’ll be able to see each other more.” Or this: “Well, his last relationship was pretty terrible and I think scarred him pretty badly. He’s slowly working through it all, it’s just so hard for him. It might seem like he’s not that into me but he totally says he is.” Or, for another age group: “His major is really hard so he studies so much! That’s why we don’t really talk that much during the week. But I see him on weekends and we…you know. So I know he totally likes me.” I think we get the picture. All of these are excuses. He’s busy, he’s got to study (but he’s got time for…you know), he’s got commitment issues, he’s got trust issues, she broke him and now I have to fix him but he’ll come around…all of this = blah blah blah, he’s not that into you. That is basically a summary of the book. Seriously, go buy it, rent it, borrow it from your girlfriend who probably already has a copy and is enlightened.
So in the past when I have written about this particular topic, it has always been to prove that in fact, good ol’ Greg knew what he was talking about! I fully support his theory, but also frequently feel like Miranda in episode 78 (season 6, episode 4) when she realizes the truth and tries to spread it to other women. She is freed by this new knowledge and when trying to spread the revelation, the reaction from other women is not as positive and she ends up offending a woman on the street.
As part of an effort to prove that Greg is right, that I am right, and that everyone who denies the validity of this theory is wrong, we are going to have our first MSP multi-part series. Get excited. I have commissioned real men from the field (field = real life) to give feedback on a number of issues surrounding the ocean of issues that is dating. First we will start out with my own anecdotal evidence that the theory is correct, examine what steps I took to ensure that this man was or was not into me, and hear from our mexperts (men+experts?) their side of the story. We will also examine the reasons that we are all basically cowards when it comes to admitting the truth about our feelings, and perhaps how we can better deal with rejecting or rejection. So tune in every Thursday for the next part of the series. And if anyone else is interested in contributing, do give me a holler at firstname.lastname@example.org. The more viewpoints, the better to stick it to all the fools in love.