Tag Archives: cubicle etiquette

Are You Looking for Snarky Sass and Constant Class? Pick Me!

I love writing. I love writing about trifeness, the news, working, working in IT, not working at all, writing this blog while “working”, parents, friends, cars, carbon footprints, shoes, Bon Qui Qui, and on rare occasions, boys. It is super fun. I suppose by writing and using this blog as an outlet I am making an assumption that people are actually interested and will actually read this jank. And guess what? They do. Thanks to WordPress’ sweet analytics, I can track how many people find Miss Sassy Pants (on purpose or by accident) every day. And surprisingly it’s more than just my loving parents. It’s pretty cool.

Thinking back on my childhood and youth, I think I always had a tiny habit of writing little stories or keeping up with my own thoughts and observations in some way. And yet here I am, as an adult finally, and have a career which involves zero writing whatsoever, aside from requirements documents, reports, project summaries, and the occasional IT Announcement email (it is more difficult than you’d think to keep the snark out of these) which no one ever reads (making it even more difficult to justify not being snarky). That kind of writing though is not fun. I don’t even really know why I didn’t choose something like journalism or English as a major, and instead chose the path that probably has some of the least amount of writing involved. Brilliant. But I have a fab job, and I actually do like it, at least at the moment. This here blog is a fun way for me to spend free time, communicate with my family which mostly lives far away, share hilarious boy stories en masse with girlfriends, impart my never ending man-related wisdom, fill time when I’m bored, and take subtle yet to-the-point jabs at dudes who are lucky or unfortunate enough to come across me in real life. Anonymously of course. And lastly, I really love having an outlet to remind everyone that he’s just not that into you! If nothing else, I really love how my dear mother and father think this jank is so funny. If everyone pledged to stop reading MSP except them, I would still write it.

So what’s the point of this slightly serious and non-dude-related post? It’s developing. I just wanted to share that I love doing it and hope you all love or at least mildly kind of like reading the occasional trife story. If I could make a living being snarky and sarcastic, I totally would. IT is so fab and I dearly love being the only female for miles in a cubicle farm of nerds and geeks, cranking out code and fixing networks. But who wouldn’t love to make a living with a blog? Not sure the paychecks would compare and not sure MSP herself could live off a tiny writers paycheck (see numerous posts about shoes) but she/I would delight in a side job which involved me sharing some sass (and switching from first to third person frequently, apparently). And how about I’ll just come right out and say, if anyone knows anyone who knows anyone who works for any kind of publication that could use some snarky sass and constant class (or a poet, since apparently I am honing my rhyming skills), sign me up. I will write about anything, since it seems the only things that relate every one of these posts is that sass or a lack of sass is involved. Spread the word and share the love ya’ll.

And lastly, a big huge thank you to everyone who takes the occasional couple of minutes (or 20, I know I babble) to make MSP part of your daily/weekly/monthly lives. I love you all. If you ever have a super trife story and think it is worthy of sharing because it is so freaking hilarious and/or trife, do send it my way. Guest bloggers also welcome, after pre-screening for appropriate levels of sassiness and class. Of course, Miss Sassy herself will always have things to share as long as I do not go blind, deaf, and/or slip into a coma. That’s how easy it is.

Never forget: he’s just not that into you.

Miss Sassy’s Shoe Selection #..who knows

So it appears that I sort of abandoned this shoe love part of my blog, but have no fear! It’s back. I know all the boys were upset and wanting to see which pair of shoes I would purchase and chat up next so now you can put your minds at ease, because I have some goodies for you today.

Remember back in the day when I was touting the awesomeness of endless.com and their amazing FREE overnight shipping deal? Well I still think endless is the best place to find some sassy style for your tootsies, however this time, I failed to find something there which was reasonably priced to justify the awesomeness of the free overnight shipping fun. Enter my 2nd place shoe selling lover, DSW. Anyone who has not been to a DSW is seriously deranged (other than Poppa Pants, he’s a special case). Anywhooosies, last week I ventured with Roomz to DSW for a little post-stressful-workday shoe shopping, having identified a few looks that I was lacking for the spring and summer seasons. Also according to my trainer, my gym shoes “suck ass” so I was also aiming to remedy this catastrophe.

The store nearest my home was somewhat lacking in what I was looking for as far as spring and summer fun-ness, however I did score a pair of fab looking New Balance gym shoes in yellow for 50% off. I am nothing if not a bargain hunter people.  As for the spring and summer fun-ness, http://www.dsw.com did not let me down AND afforded me the benefit of applying two discounts: 15% off and free shipping. Woowoo! Who doesn’t love entering those awesome discount codes at checkout? I always love how they come up with the weirdest letter combinations. They should take a lesson from Victoria’s Secret who has the greatest discount codes with things like BRA15 and FREEPANTY.  Raise your hand if you love typing FREEPANTY. [Side note: I feel they should always give lady undies away for free, it’s got to cost like 15 cents to make that ish anyway…charging $20 is just not right for .01 yards of fabric. For realz.] Digression. On to the goods!

I now present you with my victories: Naughty Monkey Parade Platform in black (I got the last pair on sale from DSW so it’s no longer available for viewing from there). And Seychelles Hulabaloo Wedge aka in yellow. I am now anxiously awaiting my lovers’ arrival at my door so that I may grace my feet with their presence. The New Balance were super discounted and therefore not pictured. Catch me at my local Gold’s Gym with my fresh non-white sneaks.

BONUS! A couple months ago I caved to the spring trend and purchased a pair of adorable spring boots in tan. If I have not previously mentioned it, this is by far my favorite look for spring. Pair them with a flowery sundress (or every sundress you own like I have done) and don’t resist buying a cowboy hat from the random street vendor to go with the look. They are versatile, hide my at times un-pedicured tootsies, and also keep my feet warm in the office. Sandals add mucho cuteness to boring work outfits but you know I be wishing I had me some slippers whilst sitting in an ice box of an office. Trust.

Is there a lesson from this shoe selection? Of course! To your own style be true, but do not be trife. Wearing these to the office is not acceptable (and in my view not acceptable any time since they’re pretty darn ugly) but rocking some cute wedges with those boring dry-clean-only dress pants is perfectly acceptable.  And whatever you do, please do not hobble and trip your way around the office in your new kicks. Heels are sassy and sexy (and work-place appropriate!) but only if you can walk in them like a lady. Miss Sassy recommends practicing at home before venturing outside to flaunt your fabulousness.

It’s sassy to LOVE your job. Truly.

Ah working.  Here are some things Miss Sassy Pants dislikes about being a working professional:

  • Wearing a badge around my neck with a hideous picture plastered to it.  I mean it could not be uglier.
  • Worrying about having my lunch / any part of my lunch stolen from the communal refrigerator (yes Mom I put my name on it, no that doesn’t always work).
  • Actually having my lunch / part of my lunch taken from the refrigerator. Bring your own lunch people! There’s a freakin cafe within walking distance! We get an employee discount! Or better yet, buy your own groceries and fix your own mother-loving turkey biscuits! I wake up 5 minutes earlier so I can prepare that. Do not waste my time.
  • People with bad cubicle etiquette.  I think they should offer a class on this.  I would teach it, in fact.  It would go something like this: “Use common sense, have some consideration for other people, think about someone other than yourself while you’re gabbing on the phone to your girlfriend. No one wants to hear that.  Class dismissed.”
  • Having no windows in this flipping building. Oh wait, there are windows?! OMG! There’s one above my cubicle!? Maybe I missed it because there are perma-blinds plastered closed everywhere.  Apparently this department doesn’t like sunlight or nature.  I mean, gosh, don’t you love working in a dim grey box?! I sure do! *thumbs up!*

But of course Miss Sassy Pants is not a pessimist! I like my job. Truly.  And I like to look at the positive side of things, and would like to end this post on a happy note. To prove it, here are some things I like about being a real grown-up with a real-life job:

  • Having a steady paycheck. Nothing better than seeing that dolla-dolla come in. Money in the bank kids! Nothing could be sassier than this.
  • After-work drinks / dinner.  It’s pretty cool to join the work force of young professionals and the occasional cougar (depending which part of Richmond you go to…sometimes it’s cougars and a couple twenty-somethings) for after work victory dance or griping sesh.
  • “Networking Events.” Also known as after work drinks / dinner (see above) but also generally includes more swanky people from the office! Bring on the schmoozing! Miss Sassy Pants loves to schmooze.
  • Accomplishments.  Yes it’s that simple. You can’t say that you enjoy a job where you go in to work and leave at the end of the day with zero product to show for the 8 hours you just sat in your gray *dark* cubicle. Buy a pink lamp like Miss Sassy Pants has, and accomplish something! I like to think that each person at this place contributes to the general success of this great company I work for, including me.  How’s that for positive thinking!
  • Paying bills. Haha! Gosh paying bills is so much fun! Not.  Ok so what I really mean is, it’s great to be able to pay all that stuff all by myself!
  • My new car. Oh what? Oh you didn’t hear? Miss Sassy Pants is the proud owner if a brand new 2009 Mini Cooper S. Darn right. Could she have purchased this vehicle without a job? Negative.  See bullet number 1.

So stay in school kids! Work that resume! Own that up-do! Getchu them flashy kicks, find you a job, make that dolla-dolla, and get that whip! It is not sassy to ask mommy and daddy for money after a certain age. Update: We are past that age, so get on it ladies and gentlemen! Dudes: ladies will not love you if you have no job. Gals: dudes like those independent women – I know this because Destiny’s Child and Mary J. told me so.   Happy Monday.