Tag Archives: basketball

Hump Day Fun Day Random Day

Happy Hump Day! I was tired of this week yesterday so I am thrilled that it is half over. Also, could summer please hurry up and get here asap. I’m tired of wearing my skirts and dresses to work and being cold all day long. We are in that glorious time of year when my iPhone weather app says it will be 70 and sunny and so I dress accordingly, only it doesn’t even reach 70 degrees but for 5 seconds around 3pm when I am indoors sitting at my desk working hard / writing this blog. Fun. Though I can proudly say I’ve worn dress pants only 4 total times since February 7th. All other days I go pant-less, which is quite a feat for someone who calls herself Miss Sassy Pants. Obviously it is also sassy to be without pants. By which of course I mean some other item of clothing covering my bottom half. Duh. I think HR might have a problem if I came to work in my underoos.

Also, random post alert. Ready go.

Does everyone remember back in the day when I said everyone and their momma and cousins own a Prius in San Fran? Literally. Well not actually literally. But seriously there were Priuses (Priusi? Pri-i?) everywhere. Though what I did not mention is that every Prius I encountered seemed to be driven by an incompetent person. And then when I moved back east, I realized the problem is not isolated to California, despite many other issues which are, thank goodness, isolated to this problem state. So now I have come to this conclusion: everyone from everywhere who owns a Prius is an incompetent driver. I now think there must be some kind of Toyota-administered test taken by all persons interested in purchasing a Prius. Seriously it is a serious problem. Next time you are out, take note of how many of these [ugly] [yet crazy fuel efficient] vehicles you see, and then watch their driving habits. I guarantee that a) they won’t know how or be able to accelerate unless they have 10 miles to get up to speed, b) they will start slowing down a ridiculous number of miles prior to actually needing to turn, c) they won’t then actually use a turn lane but slow down traffic while they d) make turns at a speed which is slower than how fast I could push their car around a turn. It is these people who make me yearn daily for my very own freeway on which to travel. Dear all Prius owners: move over or find your accelerator…your car won’t explode if you use it.

This is a hilariously accurate comic that a pal of mine found recently (obviously a nerd friend, since XKCD comics are the nerdiest of nerd comics out there) (also sad that I find so many of them funny…I suppose this means I’m a nerd). Doesn’t everyone remember going to the movies in large groups of 15 or more and never getting to sit next to the right person?! And the quote…”Guys! This is not socially optimal!” Loves. I honestly cannot recall the last time I went to the movies with a group of co-eds, as all movie trips of late have been with girlfriends to see some tear-jerking rom-com. Which obviously means seating arrangements are unimportant, as long as we all like to hold hands and can pass tissues to each other. But I distinctly have memories of going to the movies and wanting to sit next to my Axe-wearing-cigarette-smoking (the smell of high school boys…sigh) crush only to be put next to the most annoying girl we hung out with and/or the creepy guy. Absolutely not socially optimal.

Of course the same issue applies to carpooling. I hated riding with certain friends because a) they were turrible drivers, b) their cars smelled, or c) they were psycho on the road. Frightening. And not socially optimal.

Speaking of bad drivers, I have now dubbed Charlotte, NC as the absolute worst place to drive ever in the history of the world. I have never driven in NYC or any place bigger than San Francisco, but even in these large cities people navigate insane traffic congestion and somewhat complicated traffic patterns with ease. Even when it rains. In Charlotte, as with purchasing a Prius, there seems to be some sort of pre-test which only allows the absolutely turrible drivers to become residents. Symptoms include going 20 mph under the speed limit, rubber-necking at squirrels on the side of the road (I mean, you guys, it was just a cop car…no need to slow down traffic for 10 miles), not using turn signals, and other general incompetence. That place is worse than a church parking lot on Senior Bingo Night.

Happy Wednesday, ya’ll. Get thee to the nearest bar asap to watch some NCAA Tournament goodness. Or badness, since we have all already realized that UAB deserves to be in the toilet tournament of teams who can’t play basketball whatsoever, and that Virginia Tech was truly shafted to be passed over for a team with such terrible shooting stats. Go Hokies.

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I’ma Sip Moscatooooo and You Gon’ Lose ACC Tournament

This past weekend was possibly the most emotionally turmoil-ish weekend in recent history. Firstly, I had the most amazing weekend with my old suite-mates from sophomore year in good ol Peddrew-Yates. There is nothing like a weekend full of girly chatting, mimosa drinking, and engagement ring comparing (not including me, in case there were questions…hardy har). I love reminiscing about hilarious college mishaps and embarrassing stories. Who doesn’t.

Secondly, the Hokies had a fantastic and then an absolutely shamefully turrible showing in the ACC tournament. That game against FSU was possibly the most stressful game for me since two weeks ago with Duke, but MAN what an ending! And what an awesome feeling, knowing, or at least thinking positively about our NCAA hopes now having beat FSU not just once, but twice! Cheers! Seth cried, Malcom Delaney made a depressingly cynical comment about getting an NCAA bid, I drank Ginger Ale to calm my nervous tummy.

Then the next day us gals sat around watching the semi-finals on ESPN HD with surround-sound, with mimosas (and then just Moscato…thus the title) in hand watching our boys in super swanky Burnt Orange jerseys forget to actually play basketball against Duke. Fun times. Best drinking game ever: drink every time we score. Too bad we ended up not scoring that much, so I changed it to drink-every-time-they-show-Kyle-Singler’s-disgustingly-hideous-face. That one was much more fun. HOLY MOSES is he ugly or WHAT.

Anyway, post-Duke smack-down and well on our way to buzzed and/or already drunk, we prepared for an awesome night in downtown, or if we want to be fancy and correct, Uptown Charlotte. It was, like, the best time ever. Everyone had a good hair day (including me! I know!), looked SO fetch, and watch Miss Foxy get hit on by a billion dudes. That girl has got it going on, I tell you. And really there’s nothing like a night of hilarity, popping bubbly and dancing like we’re crunk with great girlfriends to cure basketball sorrows. Plus, no one likes Duke. Except Duke fans. Whatever. But everyone loves a girls weekend.

And THEN on Sunday something even turrible-er happened. We got shafted AGAIN by the NCAA head a-holes who pick teams to play in the supposed best dance ever or whatever it’s called. Guess who doesn’t care about any stupid dance anymore!? Me. And Hokies everywhere who now hate the NCAA for being SUCH AWFUL HATERS. Not only was I / currently am PMSingly emotional over this, but the FACTS support me (a rarity) and every other pissed off Hokie out there. I mean. I’m not a sports writer and there are a billion other sources who research this jank and then write about it, so I won’t. Go check out Kyle Tucker’s blog for some real journalism and then come back here to help me rage at the man about it.

Luckily, the ladies and I closed out our awesome girls weekend with a trip to an awesome antique mall and the best store in the world, IKEA. Yes. You know you are getting old when you cease shopping for clothes together and start with the home furnishings and fun things like vases and kitchenware. It’s hard to say no to all the awesome deals and fun make-your-own-lamp department. Loves. So needless to say, despite hearing the disgusting news about the NCAA bracket while I was alone in my car en route back to R-town with no one to cry to, my high from my awesome IKEA purchases and amazing fun times with good friends helped me through [longest sentence ever].  Thanks girls.

Meantime. Dear NCAA Dudes Who Make Decisions: You suck. I know it makes me less of a lady to say it like that, but I say that with the utmost charm and batting of eyelashes. Next year don’t make excuses for blatantly not picking teams whose records show they deserve to play like “differing opinions of criteria” and etcetera bull hoo-ha. Just come out and admit that you are silly old men without a clue.

Also in the meantime, Hokies should do as I am doing: get over it and embrace new opportunities. It’s fun to rage and be mad, but apparently the NIT finals are being played in Madison Square Garden and broadcast nationally, which seems to me to be a perfect opportunity to show how awesome we are at choking on key opportunities OR how we can persevere and not be thugs on the court cough Jeff Allen cough. Seriously. It’s sad we didn’t get picked. Not even for measly last seed spot.  But then, I guess it’s not cool to whine and complain. Get it done at NIT, little boys, and maybe next year you can not foul out as much, make free throws, and find a cute dress for the Big Dance. A dropped-waist cut looks best on those with long limbs.

And I’m so happy to have such great friends. You make life’s sad times happy!

Go Hokies!