Hello, Beyonce is pregnant. I know this isn’t breaking news by the time I post this but as I write, it is breaking and it is awesome.
I watched only part of the VMA’s on Sunday due to the fact that Roomz and I don’t have cable. We diligently texted some friends we thought might be down for a VMA’s-watching party but to no avail. We kind of waited until the last minute so it’s really our fault. Then Roomz resorted to trying to find a live stream of them online somewhere. Apparently there was a live stream of some people watching the VMA’s but not of the VMA’s themselves. Odd.
Anyway. Plan D was to head to a local mexican joint where a friend works. Said friend had indicated this joint’s one and only TV was tuned to MTV, so we were down. Roomz wanted a Marg anyway. And so did I actually but as I stated earlier, I’m going alcohol free for a while. So uncool.
ANYWAY. Due to the lateness of our tune-in, we missed the big birth announcement. As I was leaving the house, I took a gander at my Twitter feed and saw Macho Harris (my bff obviously) say something about Beyonce being with child. Since no one else had commented thus far (cough PEOPLE MAG) I wasn’t sure I believed it. No offense, Macho. You’re still in my top 5 most favorite football players ever.
So I arrive at the restaurant and Roomz is all like, “OMG Beyonce is PREGGERS!” And I was all, “OMG NO WAY!!” We were excited.
Then a little while later when Beyonce took the stage, I was so hyped because 1) super love the song she sang. 2) She has awesome pipes. Gurl can sing for realz. She totally should have won that MJ award. 3) Super loved the MJ-tribute outfits. 4) She began her song with some comment about feeling the love growing inside of her. I teared up a little bit. 5) Jay-Z’s face every time they showed him while she was singing, and Kanye all patting him on the back like “yeah that’s my man” and whatever. You know that thing they do when they half cover their mouths while they smile/laugh and point at each other. Adorbs. And 6) At the end of the song when she un-buttoned her jacket and gave her tummy a little rub with a big smile I just DIED.
Because seriously. Who hasn’t loved Beyonce since Bills, Bills, Bills?! Destiny’s Child ya’ll, when she was like 12 years old. Maybe it was me who was 12. Whatever. Huge fan. Plus who also doesn’t like her name. Even Ma likes her name. She always says “Beyonce like fiance!” Yes Ma, you right. Also I super love Solange but that’s beside the point.
Then when Destiny’s Child broke up I was slightly devastated. But then Beyonce started singing on her own, and then she was acting, and THEN she did the most awesomest of awesome things and MARRIED JAY-Z. You guys. Seriously. Le Fox says they’re like America’s royalty and I totally agree. Since we don’t have actual royalty, I feel like we have a lot of power couples who sort of claim this status. Brad + Angelina, though no one is surprised when she gets pregnant now or adopts yet another starving child. I feel like I wouldn’t be this excited or happy if the freaking First Lady was pregnant. Plus celebs are getting pregnant like mad these days, who even cares? Except for Beyonce.
Beyonce and Jay-Z are like I can’t even explain it. They’re amazing. Beyonce is, as Britney said, a triple-threat. I would say even quadruple or quint-whatever threat. She can do anything. Then we have Jay-Z. From Brooklyn, yo. He’s like SO the man in so many ways. I love his rap songs. I love his clothing line. I love that he owns like 50% of America and you don’t even know it. I find out things he owns all the time and I’m all like, WHAT?? That’s Jay-Z? Who knew?! Kind of like Warren Buffett only with tons of additional talent and way cooler.
If they ever split up, I will definitely be really sad. There are lots of celeb couples that last less than 5 seconds and we get so excited about it and gushy, like, “omg they are so cute together!!” And then the next minute they’re split up, but according to their reps, everything is fine and it was mutual, obviously. If Jay-Z and B ever split, not only will they have to share a child and a massive fortune, it will just be devastating for all of America.
When they first got together I recall mostly I thinking, um, he’s not that good looking, and plus isn’t he like way old? But then they had that song together about Bonnie and Clyde I thought obviously they’re meant for each other. I can tell by the way he raps her name: “B!” Duh. Love knows no age. And then they were just so adorbs with the announcement of their pending god-child, it’s like the same in my head as when Kate and Wills eventually announce their future King or Queen of England.
B + Hov = King of America. Who’s with me? I can’t wait to see massive features in every gossip mag that exists on B’s awesome preggers style, how much she’s glowing and all of that. It’s going to be so fun.
And I obviously can’t wait to see what they name the child. With names like Beyonce and Jay-Z, it’s got to be good. Plus Jay is so good with nicknames, it seems.