A while back I talked about girlfriends and how awesome they are. How much we need them in our lives to share trifeness and amazingness that we live with day to day. Still true, obviously, since time passing does not mean we need them less, only that we need them more.
Recently I have had a couple pretty stellar girls weekends that I super loved. It also seems to be the season for the girls reunion, as I have seen a bunch of other ladies celebrating quality time with their favorite biddies. Tis the season for lots of giggling apparently.
It is weird to me – in a good way – to see my old girlfriends and see some of them engaged and planning for such an adult thing: a wedding. And preparing for an even more adult thing: a marriage. I mean, you guys. Our first impressions of marriage come from our parents – whether they are happily married, apathetically married, not married at all, or perhaps the worst, unhappily married. Seeing our parents’ marriage from the outside looking in for 20-some years, at least for me, gives me this view into an adulthood that I have not reached yet. And yet here I am, attempting to choose between two extremely cute dresses to wear when I will witness one of my oldest friends committing to love her love for life. Yikes. [Side note: thank you, my dear Tallulah, for choosing a beautiful color and stylish/not-hideous dress.]
A couple weekends ago I was in Charlotte reuniting with some original roommates from college. We all lived together at some point during school, and were there for each other through our best and worst. And now two of them are engaged. I got to be a back-seat listener to a conversation which included things like “where did you find your super discounted but adorable invitations?” And “his mother wants to invite like 100 people and I wanted to be like, well sure if you pay for all of them to eat!” And “I’ve looked through a billion wedding magazines and have no idea what I want my dress to look like!” These are serious decisions, obviously. But the deeper meaning of all of this is that, omigosh, we’re going to be married…how will we celebrate this great event and commitment with each other and our closest friends and families – without going broke and/or crazy? Happily I can say both of these girls are level-headed and not bridezillas. Both are extremely grounded and will not have any issues remembering the point of it all. And while choosing invitations and a dress and a menu is very “adult” in my mind, what’s even more grown up is that these ladies are essentially telling us that they’re done looking. They found their man and he sacrificed a new iPad 2 (or a car, depending) to buy a fancy ring to claim her as his own woman. Again I find myself saying, yikes.
This past weekend two of my favorite ladies came to Raleigh to see little old me. Raleigh greeted them with some ridiculously terribly weather (thanks mother nature), but we managed to have a great time. All three of us are still single. And when I say single I mean we’re not engaged or married…nothing is final until you say “I do” in my mind, and some argue nothing’s final until you’re dead but I choose to be optimistic. So we’re single aka not engaged, and obviously talk about weddings zero percent of the time. We do however discuss boys at length. I had a mini flashback to middle school where we used to pass around notebooks with charts in them depicting which boys were cute on a vertical scale of 1 to 10, divided by grade of course because 6th graders do not compare to 8th graders. Obviously. Looks ranked on one side, and personalities ranked on another. Now Miss Gate City teaches middle school, and is being courted by a man in the army via letters and care packages, while simultaneously attempting to avoid the affections of another teacher. I am currently seeing someone I met in the office (yes, like Jim and Pam, way to be original) (no inner-office jokes please, I’ve heard them all). Miss Foxy is still in love with a bearded and pony-tailed man who cuts down trees for a living, while lamenting the lack of young men in Roanoke. And Roomz is experimenting with Match.com because she’s tired of meeting drunk idiots in bars.
I sometimes find myself chatting with my ladies, shocked at how time passes. We sometimes talk more about bills and insurance coverage (true story) more than we talk about Gate City’s adorable wardrobe (for which I am green with envy, btw) or Foxy’s newest boy story. After a while it’s all the same…we met someone, he was cute, he took us out, then we got bored and now we’re still single. But it’s still fun and I still sometimes feel like a little girl ranking boys during Social Studies class. I look at my friends who are either preparing for marriage or already in one and I think…well actually I think a couple things. One is, “holy moly!” (remember I promised Ma I’d cut down the cursing…apparently this includes the word c-r-a-p). The second thing is, I can’t wrap my head around the fact that we’re there. It is the wedding season of our lives and I could be next. Which then prompts another “yikes!”
But hey. This is life, is it not? We are old but we are young and beautiful. We are happy with our fiances and our boyfriends and our non-boyfriends and our unattainable dream men. If we are single, we love it. If we are dating, we love it, and certainly if we are engaged or married, we love it. And if we don’t love it (or him), we should be open to and make that change. Whatever book or movie it is that says women have the exact love lives they want, is true. But at least I can say this: lovers, whether men or boys, come and go, but friendship loves last forever.