I know I go on and on all the time about boys, the gym, men, and trifeness involving boys and men at the gym, and today will be no different. You’ve read enough of this drivel to know boys/men/gym consume my life when I am not eating or sleeping or working 60-70 hour weeks. Which actually leaves very little time to think about boys/men or go to the gym but somehow I manage. Oprah calls it multi-tasking. For example: I am watching Iron Man while I write this. I am that talented that I can spew out this here entertainment WHILE entertaining myself separately. I mean, ya’ll, this is MSP.
But back to the boys and men. So tonight I was hanging out with Journey while doing my [awesomely intense] workout. Here’s a little revelation I had today: it is hard to pick up a dude or get picked up at the gym while working out. That is unless you are super duper forward and walking right up to dudes. So save walking right up to some dude while he’s getting gorilla’d, and as long as he’s not interrupting me on the butt-buster (yes girl, give it a try), it is hard to pick up a dude or get picked up. And I know this because maybe you don’t recall but I have a bit of a staring issue (it’s not a problem, I don’t need therapy), and I will, without reservation, take a good long look even if I’m caught. Girl Can’t Help It. But it seems to be difficult for any guy, boy or man (unless he’s 45+, apparently that’s the golden age that staring back and wiggling eyebrows is ok. Only the Young please.) to respond in any way. Since I started going to the glorious gym with glorious looking dudes (mostly…see previous entry regarding those tricky 50-yarders) I have smiled plenty of times and gotten minimal response. Maybe it’s me. You know, that whole, he’s just not that into you thing. Typical. I’ll Be Alright Without You. But ya’ll. Don’t Stop Believing! Because today, it was the cutest smile I’ve seen in a while. And no, he didn’t ask me out or make any kind of gym small talk, but he smiled back and said hi. Now I ask you, is it really that difficult? No, I’m not looking for my future husband every time I walk in that door (or any other door), and I know we’ll probably go our Separate Ways, but it is nice to at least see some civility. So hey guys, boys and men, say hi to that small frizzy haired girl next time you see her. She’s nice, and she’s just trying to be friendly. Don’t be intimidated by the leg lifts, promise she’s not stronger than you. Plus you’ve got a nice tush, and like I said earlier, Girl Can’t Help It. And lastly, pat yourself on the back if you made all those Journey connections. Ya’ll Journey is the best to workout too. Just don’t sing too loud, that draws the wrong kind of stares. But hey, Be Good to Yourself.
Moving on to another topic that has just occurred to me. [Side note: Robert Downey Jr. is pretty hot for an old dude. Yeah I’m still watching. Future husband, if you’re reading this, I wouldn’t mind if you looked like him, in any way, when you get to be that old..] Last week, I heard the phrase “Don’t be a stranger,” at least 5 times. It was said to me three times, I saw it on TV once, and I overheard someone saying it at work. Here’s my question: wtf does that statement even mean? I suppose it depends on the circumstances. So here’s the circumstances. You’re a guy (shocking, more boys), we’re chatting, and as a departing greeting you say “don’t be a stranger, Miss Sassy.” To which I reply………what exactly is an appropriate response to that? I really can’t even think of anything. I mean even the sassiest comment I can think of just doesn’t seem to cut it. So hey dudes: please don’t use the phrase “don’t be a stranger.” Because if you want me to stay in touch with you, or be extra friendly, or call you, or write on your facebook wall or some jank, then come out and say it. Do not expect me to take “don’t be a stranger” as an invitation to initiate anything other than friendship with you. End of the day, I’m still the girl, you’re still the dude and last time I read up on anatomy, you’re the one with balls.
And that’s the sass lesson of the day folks. Smile at those pretty (and non-pretty) girls at the gym, and a simple “see you later” will always do. Keep it real ya’ll.