Miss Sassy Pants for President! JK.

Let’s talk about…sex baby, let’s talk about you and me, let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be…Ha, just kidding. Good song though. Anywhoooz, happy Friday! Today I am pensively contemplating (is that redundant?) a few topics and have finally settled on one for the day…get ready.

Since Wednesday’s SOTU by the great and honorable POTUS *cough*, I am enormously more concerned with the direction this nation is going. Just to be sure I don’t put myself at risk of sounding like a professional political analyst during the next few paragraphs, here’s another disclaimer: I’m not a professional political analyst. No worries – sarcasm, exaggeration, and of course sass will prevail. I’ll also add for the record that for the most part I write solely based on emotional reaction. Raging hormones I tell you!

Today’s emotional reaction is astonishment at stupidity, blatant disregard for fact-checking, disrespect, and twisting of scenarios to fit a political agenda. News flash: Americans aren’t retarded! Surprise! I would argue that most of us are capable of seeing through silly politicians’ lip service to ideas and new “policies” they think we want. I think someone should write a letter addressed to all members of Congress that reads something like this: “Hey dipwads, you can’t fool us, stop effing up the country. K thanks. Love, America.” Perhaps I’ll write it. Anyone else want to sign? I mean seriously, just because you stopped using the word “reform” for a little while doesn’t fool anyone. Also I’m thinking maybe another letter to our great and wonderful, bold and courageous, well dressed and excellent teleprompter-reading president. It might go something like this: “Yo, Pres. Swallow your pride and check your ego. We don’t appreciate you yelling at us and telling us we are going to get health care whether we want it or not. That’s called dictatorship. K thanks. Love, America.” Ok so it’s a work in progress, whatevs. But seriously. What happened to honesty, being in touch with your people, and airing everything on CSPAN so us regular kiddos can see what the heck is happening? It’s ok though, maybe you forgot about that particular promise. No biggie. There were so many I guess it’s hard to keep track.

Yesterday I went to lunch with some older coworkers and was discussing retirement plans with one dude. You could say he is one accurate stereotype for the middle class – middle aged, been working for this here company for about 15 years, married to a school teacher, zero kids (congrats), belongs to a gym which he frequents daily at 5am (insane). He was pissed when the market crashed because his 401k lost ridiculous value. In the past year he’s gotten a little more than half of it back. Not too shabby. He admitted to me that he was raised Republican and traditionally has “Republican values,” however in the last election he voted for Obama (surprise!), and is now vastly disappointed (surprise!) in what has happened since BHO’s term started. I guess he was thinking he’d get “change” and “hope” for his dwindling retirement account. Sike. I swallowed the numerous variations of “DUH” and “YOU ASKED FOR IT” that came to mind and kept my opinions to myself, saying something neutral like “Yes, well, we will see what happens next.” He’s my superior after all, I don’t want to be fired for my political opinions. Car payment people, car payment.

But really, we will see what happens. I don’t want to be super cynical and honestly don’t think we’re quite flushed all the way down the toilet just yet. In the toilet for sure, but maybe not flushed. I have to admit though that every day I read something like this or this (don’t even get me started on that second one…do we really want this guy hanging out in a US court? In a jail in America’s homeland? Admit it, he’s scary. And he hates you – yes, all of you, so why should we cut him any slack!?) I want to immediately move to some other country. Yes, America is great and free and not socialist (yet) but Italians have better food, cheaper wine, and prettier countryside, plus more Catholic churches where I can find the man of my dreams for whom I can cook and clean (come on, that’s funny). Meantime, I slave away in my cubicle in Corporate America, hoping that the new taxes and regulations (which ones? I don’t know, pick one) won’t affect my employer in an averse way so I can keep my job and my car and my livelihood. Cheers to wishful thinking and “hope” that someone gets it right. Soon.

Stay tuned for an update on my move to/life in Raleigh…it involves a daily 8am meeting starting next week for which I am super excited! Woohoo early mornings!

Have fun in the snow this weekend kiddie-poos! I’ll be driving the dirty Mini Coop following the plow truck to NC.

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