Ah working. Here are some things Miss Sassy Pants dislikes about being a working professional:
- Wearing a badge around my neck with a hideous picture plastered to it. I mean it could not be uglier.
- Worrying about having my lunch / any part of my lunch stolen from the communal refrigerator (yes Mom I put my name on it, no that doesn’t always work).
- Actually having my lunch / part of my lunch taken from the refrigerator. Bring your own lunch people! There’s a freakin cafe within walking distance! We get an employee discount! Or better yet, buy your own groceries and fix your own mother-loving turkey biscuits! I wake up 5 minutes earlier so I can prepare that. Do not waste my time.
- People with bad cubicle etiquette. I think they should offer a class on this. I would teach it, in fact. It would go something like this: “Use common sense, have some consideration for other people, think about someone other than yourself while you’re gabbing on the phone to your girlfriend. No one wants to hear that. Class dismissed.”
- Having no windows in this flipping building. Oh wait, there are windows?! OMG! There’s one above my cubicle!? Maybe I missed it because there are perma-blinds plastered closed everywhere. Apparently this department doesn’t like sunlight or nature. I mean, gosh, don’t you love working in a dim grey box?! I sure do! *thumbs up!*
But of course Miss Sassy Pants is not a pessimist! I like my job. Truly. And I like to look at the positive side of things, and would like to end this post on a happy note. To prove it, here are some things I like about being a real grown-up with a real-life job:
- Having a steady paycheck. Nothing better than seeing that dolla-dolla come in. Money in the bank kids! Nothing could be sassier than this.
- After-work drinks / dinner. It’s pretty cool to join the work force of young professionals and the occasional cougar (depending which part of Richmond you go to…sometimes it’s cougars and a couple twenty-somethings) for after work victory dance or griping sesh.
- “Networking Events.” Also known as after work drinks / dinner (see above) but also generally includes more swanky people from the office! Bring on the schmoozing! Miss Sassy Pants loves to schmooze.
- Accomplishments. Yes it’s that simple. You can’t say that you enjoy a job where you go in to work and leave at the end of the day with zero product to show for the 8 hours you just sat in your gray *dark* cubicle. Buy a pink lamp like Miss Sassy Pants has, and accomplish something! I like to think that each person at this place contributes to the general success of this great company I work for, including me. How’s that for positive thinking!
- Paying bills. Haha! Gosh paying bills is so much fun! Not. Ok so what I really mean is, it’s great to be able to pay all that stuff all by myself!
- My new car. Oh what? Oh you didn’t hear? Miss Sassy Pants is the proud owner if a brand new 2009 Mini Cooper S. Darn right. Could she have purchased this vehicle without a job? Negative. See bullet number 1.
So stay in school kids! Work that resume! Own that up-do! Getchu them flashy kicks, find you a job, make that dolla-dolla, and get that whip! It is not sassy to ask mommy and daddy for money after a certain age. Update: We are past that age, so get on it ladies and gentlemen! Dudes: ladies will not love you if you have no job. Gals: dudes like those independent women – I know this because Destiny’s Child and Mary J. told me so. Happy Monday.